“This bottomless abyss…”

This bottomless abyss, remote and yawning —
How many it has drowned!
That day of my departure will be dawning:
The void is where I’m bound.

All shall be stilled: the singing, the vying,
The shining and the striving,
My eyes’ green sparks, my voice, mild and caring,
And my hair of gold, flowing.

Then life will carry on, as plain as ever,
And memories will fade
The way as if beneath the skies I never
Had actually stayed!

But someone — whose caprice and childlike fashion
Betrayed all hints of blues —
Once marvelled at the firewood turning ashen
For hours she’d thus lose.

She loved the violoncello, fun with horses,
And pealing village bells…
I was her, so genuine, with lively forces
This lovely land impels!

To you all, whether friends or whomsoever,
— What distance do I mind? —
I am entreating faith, now more than ever,
And love from you in kind.

By day, by night, in writing and in speaking:
For yes or no in truth,
For what pains me so much, so often wreaking
Its marks in fleeting youth,

For a heart that’s so easily forgiving,
— Can’t help it, though I tried —
For all my wild affections, for this living
Embodiment of pride,

For things that happen too fast, too unruly,
For truth and make-belief…
For all of these, love me! and love me truly:
For life, how dear, how brief.

8 December 1913

Original